Healing our relationship with sex is part of evolving consciousness

Healing emotionally and attaining spiritual adulthood requires that we heal unhealthy sexual beliefs. It allows sex to take a natural, positive part of life – as something both divine and everyday. In fact, in the tantric view everything in life, even the most ordinary, is viewed as inherently divine.

It is well worth taking the time to examine your beliefs about sexuality, relationships, gender roles, what you define as good and bad. Even in people with fairly liberal backgrounds, some of these internal programs may be still holding you back, albeit subtly.

Humans are innately and naturally sexual. As a primal impulse, for procreation, as a yearning for intimacy and to experience a sense of divinity, the sexual drive is present. One cannot be at peace whilst wrestling with guilt or shame about an aspect of one’s own essence. This tends to manifest internally as avoidance/shutdown or obsessive/ addictive behaviours, or alternating between both.

An inner conflict with sexuality will also manifest outwardly. It is no coincidence that the most perpetually conflict ridden societies are repressive. They are more judgmental and controlling of their people’s private lives, and highly suspicious of differing beliefs or lifestyles.

When these belief systems (personal, familial, cultural or religious) are extreme, transgression of the rules is perceived as a betrayal of the entire tribe. The control may be subtle – guilt, shaming and manipulation, using labels such as dirty, impure, bad, unholy, not respectable. In extreme cases, the infringement must be punished and made an example of. Some of these punishments are barbaric and far worse than the original perceived wrongdoing.

Sex and religion got mixed together early in the story of humanity – and we’ve paid a heavy price for it – children are told mere sexual thoughts or masturbation can be enough to invoke the wrath of deities and result in eternal damnation or misfortune.

We have seen this through all times and cultures – from rules of acceptable courtship, sexual conduct, removal or maintenance of body hair, clothing, forced marriage, genital mutilation, homophobia, so called honor killings, blaming victims of rape, slut shaming, stoning of unmarried couples. Historically, females have fared worse, and feminine sexuality was (and is) much more policed.

If someone is truly awakening in their sexuality, they are increasing self awareness and are working through their wounds. It is an emotional and spiritual journey, and truly is a game changer. They are starting to shift beyond the illusion of ego, and of the roles the unawakened world requires people to play. Sex then becomes another aspect of a healthy, positive existence, not as an ego support mechanism in the form of conquest, competition, escape/ distraction, obsession or self validation.

This requires taking responsibility for their actions and beliefs, and a recognition of when others are projecting or attempting to manipulate. They are comfortable with their own boundaries, and respect others. They are centred and powerful, and not triggered by different belief systems. As part of this awakening process many people find they are no longer attracted to toxic relationships. They may distance themselves from an unhealthy or restrictive family dynamic or religion.

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© 2013  Embracing the Divine Sensual – The Body Sacred

updated 2015. Feel free to forward or share, in entirety, with credit

 

Next Embracing the Divine Sensual Women’s Workshop

Join us for another exploration into the world of the Shakti – the potent feminine energy present in us all. This workshop will concentrate on techniques to connect to and energise the Kundalini Shakti energy
Women of many ancient cultures have always gathered in circles of sisterhood, to teach, support and share. It is every woman’s birthright to feel alive, sensual, attractive and happy in her body. The pure inner self of every human is innately beautiful, strong and loving. Reconnection with the sacred self, so frequently lost in modern living, is the key to confidence, sensuality and fulfilment – both in the relationship to self and with another.
Women of many cultures have always gathered in circles of sisterhood, to teach, support and share. Embracing the Divine Sensual is a safe, supportive space for women wanting to explore and expand their sensual selves. Sexual techniques will be discussed but no nudity is involved, participation in exercises is optional.
(The next and final workshop for this year will be Sunday 14th December where we will focus on methods to clear old emotional blocks and traumas in the base and sacral chakras)

Sacred Sexuality: The Evolution of Intimacy

Many Westerners are being drawn to a more holistic approach to life in general, and their personal lives are no exceptions. People often have a sense of something more, a higher purpose or meaning, that they yearn for, even if they can’t articulate exactly what it is. I personally believe Sacred Sexuality offers the answers many are seeking.

It is the art of bringing the profound spiritual experience and immense physical pleasure into one’s sexual life, and ultimately into all aspects of life. Sex is for most people the most common and easily accessed experience of the divine, and with practise this energy can be harnessed and used constructively.  

Like any extraordinary experience, it sets off irrevocable changes…in our outlook on life, and how we feel about ourselves. In the same sense that the true yogic path is far more than just stretching, the traditional teachings of sacred sex were an inclusive spiritual outlook on life, embracing sexuality, the body and the everyday physical experience as a pathway to spiritual evolution. Many indigenous cultures have their own forms of sacred sexuality eg. paganism, Tantra, Taoist teachings. The recurring underlying themes are the synergistic creative force of merging polarised energies and accessing higher consciousness.

It is about recognising the divine in everything, and experiencing and embodying this divinity. Sexuality becomes a dance of physical and spiritual love, of energy and higher consciousness.

Physically the nervous system has to accustom to higher levels of pleasure without overload, resistance or dissociation. Emotionally speaking, this is also true. Hitting ecstatic states involves a deep level of surrender. It is about the experiencing yourself without any labels: paradoxically at the most primal and powerful, yet most vulnerable and open. To share this with another is beautiful, transforming and *VERY* humbling. So even though it’s a positive experience, it can be confronting.  People find transcendental sexual experiences can unexpectedly throw their relationship dynamics. Interestingly, the people who often have the hardest time are those who have been quite promiscuous, who on the surface may seem sexually liberated (and have a lot of ego investment in that label), but in fact are uncomfortable with the deep intimacy. This sudden emotional and energetic openness can feel like loss of identity, control or freedom, and it is very easy to withdraw from the partner.

Like any spiritual path, facing, accepting and releasing the ego’s needs, wounds and resistances are an inherent part of the journey. Deep emotional healing will take place. You can only get so far if you don’t want to deal with this.

The rewards are immense. Feeling happier with yourself and life.  Increased healing, health, energy, vitality, radiance and joy. A whole new level of emotional connection with people (not just sexual partners) becomes possible.  Oh yes, and the amazing sex…these are the experiences that leave you energised, tingling and sensitised for days afterwards.

© Embracing the Divine Sensual – the Body Sacred 2010. Feel free to forward this article in its entirety with credit.